I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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