Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize