Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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