Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
