Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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