Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
