Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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