It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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