No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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