We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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