i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
