The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
