he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
