I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
