i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
