Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
