I cockslap morals
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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