Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We need to get me chipped asap
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
