Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
