i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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