My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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