She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He passed out mid-signature
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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