Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
