So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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