this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
