Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
