Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
