This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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