my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
