Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
