just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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