So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
thus making me awesome and them whores
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
