so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
