no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
