Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
