Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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