you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
