Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
