i don't like sucking hair
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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