He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
