A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
