Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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