Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A+ Viking dick
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