We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
