and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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