Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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