am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I had to cum in my sink.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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