Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
