Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
this is an emotional support booty call
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
