Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
