You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
