were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
