I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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