dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
