wanna go halves on a baby?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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