i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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